| For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper | | | | have my teeth drilled", said George Bernard Shaw, a |
| and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists | | | | writer and a music critic. |
| are the most perfectionist people in the world. They | | | | I definitely agree with Artur Schnabel's top secret! I |
| should not and can not make mistakes especially | | | | wonder why George found it relaxing to have his |
| when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and | | | | teeth drilled after hearing the pianoforte recitals. Check |
| the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A | | | | out more of the piano's funny side: |
| few researches and I have once again proven that | | | | · Bob Hope, an American comedian commented |
| appearances can be deceiving. | | | | on fellow comedian Phyllis Diller on her playing the |
| The pianists we see play appear to be the most | | | | piano: "When she started to play, Steinway himself |
| formal and respectable stars on the stage. They hold | | | | came down personally and rubbed his name off the |
| the power and the breath of the audiences. They | | | | piano." |
| could look intimidating in their formal suits not to mention | | | | · A band teacher recalled the title of the song |
| the authority and the air of arrogance they exude | | | | "Claire de Lune" played by a student as "Claire de |
| while on stage. They can be captivating. | | | | Loonie". |
| But before we forget, these pianists are also human. | | | | · The audiences at a piano recital were appalled |
| And humans do make mistakes. Most of these | | | | when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing |
| mistakes can be frustrating and depressing. But then, | | | | a note, the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, |
| there are also mistakes that are amusing and could | | | | "If that's my agent, tell him I'm working!" |
| also be totally hilarious. It shows how fun could be | | | | Now, let's check out some famous questions and |
| inserted even in the most seemingly stuffy and proper | | | | answers in the funny world of piano: |
| event. | | | | · What do you get when you drop a piano down |
| Here are some examples: | | | | a mine shaft? A flat minor |
| When asked for their definition of a piano, some | | | | · What do you get when you drop a piano on an |
| famous musicians and musical enthusiasts have some | | | | army base? A flat major |
| famous replies: | | | | · Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a |
| · For David W. Barber (The Musician's Dictionary), | | | | studio upright? Because is makes a much bigger |
| a piano is a cumbersome piece of furniture found in | | | | kaboom when dropped over a cliff. |
| many homes, where playing it ensures the early | | | | · Why was the piano invented? So that the |
| departure of unwanted guests. | | | | musician would have a place to put his beer. |
| · Piano (n.) is a parlor utensil for subduing the | | | | · Why did they say that the pianist had fingers like |
| impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys | | | | lightning? They never struck the same place twice. |
| of the machine and the spirits of the audience, | | | | · What did they find when they dug up |
| according to Ambrose Bierce, an American journalist | | | | Beethoven's grave? He was decomposing. |
| (The Devil's Dictionary). | | | | · Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because they |
| · A piano tuner is a person employed to come | | | | always ran around going, "Bach! Bach! Bach!" |
| into the home, rearrange the furniture, and annoy the | | | | · Imagine a singer, a piano player, a bass player |
| cat. The tuner's chief purpose is to ascertain the | | | | and a drummer sitting around the table. Now if you |
| breaking point of the piano's strings. | | | | drop a hundred-dollar bill right in the middle and tell them |
| Though these definitions may sound humorous, you | | | | they're free to take it, who's getting it? The piano |
| can never miss the ironies in it. Coming from people | | | | player. Because the bass player is too slow, for the |
| who live and breathe the piano, these definitions seem | | | | winger it's too little money and the drummer didn't get |
| odd. | | | | the assignment. |
| Here's more - when asked about their secrets in | | | | Now that we've seen the humor under they |
| playing, you would certainly be surprised at how simple | | | | keyboards, the piano and the pianists are not as |
| their secrets can be, and definitely applicable. | | | | elusive as they seem to be. It is just like discovering a |
| · Australian pianist Artur Schnabel said, "I always | | | | new type of music. The piano and the pianist can take |
| make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open | | | | not just the breath out of the audiences but also the |
| before I start to play". | | | | laughter as they present not only fine music but terrific |
| · "Nothing soothes me more after a long and | | | | humor as well. Having fun is what life is all about. |
| maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and | | | | |