| For me, the piano is the symbol of what is | | | | George Bernard Shaw, a writer and a music |
| stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have | | | | critic. |
| faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most | | | | |
| perfectionist people in the world. They | | | | I definitely agree with Artur Schnabel's top |
| should not and can not make mistakes | | | | secret! I wonder why George found it relaxing |
| especially when performing. That is how I | | | | to have his teeth drilled after hearing the |
| viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, | | | | pianoforte recitals. Check out more of the |
| I just found out I was wrong. A few | | | | piano's funny side: |
| researches and I have once again proven that | | | | |
| appearances can be deceiving. | | | | · Bob Hope, an American comedian commented |
| | | | on fellow comedian Phyllis Diller on her |
| The pianists we see play appear to be the | | | | playing the piano: "When she started to play, |
| most formal and respectable stars on the | | | | Steinway himself came down personally and |
| stage. They hold the power and the breath of | | | | rubbed his name off the piano." |
| the audiences. They could look intimidating | | | | |
| in their formal suits not to mention the | | | | · A band teacher recalled the title of the |
| authority and the air of arrogance they exude | | | | song "Claire de Lune" played by a student as |
| while on stage. They can be captivating. | | | | "Claire de Loonie". |
| | | | |
| But before we forget, these pianists are also | | | | · The audiences at a piano recital were |
| human. And humans do make mistakes. Most of | | | | appalled when a telephone rang just off |
| these mistakes can be frustrating and | | | | stage. Without missing a note, the soloist |
| depressing. But then, there are also mistakes | | | | glanced toward the wings and called, "If |
| that are amusing and could also be totally | | | | that's my agent, tell him I'm working!" |
| hilarious. It shows how fun could be inserted | | | | |
| even in the most seemingly stuffy and proper | | | | Now, let's check out some famous questions |
| event. | | | | and answers in the funny world of piano: |
| | | | |
| Here are some examples: | | | | · What do you get when you drop a piano |
| | | | down a mine shaft? A flat minor |
| When asked for their definition of a piano, | | | | |
| some famous musicians and musical enthusiasts | | | | · What do you get when you drop a piano on |
| have some famous replies: | | | | an army base? A flat major |
| | | | |
| · For David W. Barber (The Musician's | | | | · Why is an 11-foot concert grand better |
| Dictionary), a piano is a cumbersome piece of | | | | than a studio upright? Because is makes a |
| furniture found in many homes, where playing | | | | much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff. |
| it ensures the early departure of unwanted | | | | |
| guests. | | | | · Why was the piano invented? So that the |
| | | | musician would have a place to put his beer. |
| · Piano (n.) is a parlor utensil for | | | | |
| subduing the impertinent visitor. It is | | | | · Why did they say that the pianist had |
| operated by depressing the keys of the | | | | fingers like lightning? They never struck the |
| machine and the spirits of the audience, | | | | same place twice. |
| according to Ambrose Bierce, an American | | | | |
| journalist (The Devil's Dictionary). | | | | · What did they find when they dug up |
| | | | Beethoven's grave? He was decomposing. |
| · A piano tuner is a person employed to | | | | |
| come into the home, rearrange the furniture, | | | | · Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because |
| and annoy the cat. The tuner's chief purpose | | | | they always ran around going, "Bach! Bach! |
| is to ascertain the breaking point of the | | | | Bach!" |
| piano's strings. | | | | |
| | | | · Imagine a singer, a piano player, a bass |
| Though these definitions may sound humorous, | | | | player and a drummer sitting around the |
| you can never miss the ironies in it. Coming | | | | table. Now if you drop a hundred-dollar bill |
| from people who live and breathe the piano, | | | | right in the middle and tell them they're |
| these definitions seem odd. | | | | free to take it, who's getting it? The piano |
| | | | player. Because the bass player is too slow, |
| Here's more - when asked about their secrets | | | | for the winger it's too little money and the |
| in playing, you would certainly be surprised | | | | drummer didn't get the assignment. |
| at how simple their secrets can be, and | | | | |
| definitely applicable. | | | | Now that we've seen the humor under they |
| | | | keyboards, the piano and the pianists are not |
| · Australian pianist Artur Schnabel said, | | | | as elusive as they seem to be. It is just |
| "I always make sure that the lid over the | | | | like discovering a new type of music. The |
| keyboard is open before I start to play". | | | | piano and the pianist can take not just the |
| | | | breath out of the audiences but also the |
| · "Nothing soothes me more after a long | | | | laughter as they present not only fine music |
| and maddening course of pianoforte recitals | | | | but terrific humor as well. Having fun is |
| than to sit and have my teeth drilled", said | | | | what life is all about. |