| Aggression in children is behavior that | | | | we can also use the violence on TV to show |
| results in personal injury to another. This | | | | them the adverse consequences and non-violent |
| injury can either be psychological (in the | | | | alternatives. It is also good to watch what |
| form of verbal attacks) or physical. Usually | | | | they are going through in internet. However, |
| the child tends to be impulsive, easily | | | | remember that we must also respect their |
| irritable, immature, inarticulate about | | | | privacy and personal space. The other thing |
| feelings and has difficulty taking criticism | | | | we can do is to consistently enforce rules |
| or frustration. The Reasons behind Aggression | | | | that promote "love and respect" such as "no |
| There is a saying that children do not do | | | | hitting" and "no teasing." The best way to |
| things that we want them to do, they do | | | | enforce these rules is by doing it ourselves. |
| things that we do. They learned behavior by | | | | We have to remember that our children are |
| observing others such as parents, siblings | | | | constantly observing what we are doing; so we |
| and peers. Thus we have to make sure that we | | | | really have to watch our behaviors. We have |
| set a good example for them to follow. Our | | | | to react appropriately when we are upset. |
| behavior must be consistent; we must do what | | | | When our children misbehave, we must not |
| we preached to them. One reason why children | | | | react aggressively to them. When children are |
| show aggression is that they want to get | | | | fighting, first separate them and then |
| their own way or the attention that they | | | | explain calmly to them why they cannot act |
| want. Aggression can be due to the | | | | the way they were acting. Many children have |
| frustration of daily living especially when | | | | an abundance of energy and without a proper |
| there may be some obstacles that prevent them | | | | channel to release the energy, the energy can |
| from satisfying their needs. As I observed in | | | | show itself in the form of aggression whether |
| my niece, at times she will compete with her | | | | intentional or unintentional. One good way to |
| two brothers for their mother's attention and | | | | prevent aggression in children is to find a |
| if she failed to achieve what she wants, she | | | | way to drain off the energy and aggressive |
| will show some form of physical aggression | | | | impulses in them through physical exercises. |
| towards her two brothers. With the increase | | | | Through proper supervision in the activities |
| in exposure to mass media nowadays and | | | | of children, we can discourage aggressive |
| without proper guidance from parents and | | | | reactions. Just as we must watch our |
| adults, children can be easily influenced by | | | | behaviors, we must do our best to minimize |
| the glamorize violence. Internet and computer | | | | marital strife where we exhibit a high level |
| games can also be the other channels where | | | | of arguing, conflict and aggression. When we |
| children are being exposed to violence. | | | | are angry, we can model non-aggressive ways |
| Recently I was conducting a training on | | | | of expressing our anger and frustration like |
| Personal Leadership for school children of 13 | | | | the use of compromise and negotiation. What |
| years of age and I was asking them to list | | | | to do Strengthen the loving feelings between |
| down some of their strengths. To my surprise, | | | | you and your child by spending sufficient |
| one of the boys told me that he is good in | | | | quality time alone with your child. Reward |
| killing. I found out from further asking that | | | | good behavior. If you catch your child in |
| he is talking about computer games. Children | | | | good behavior, praise, encourage or reward |
| do not understand the difference between | | | | your child for not reacting aggressively. |
| media and real life. Thus it is important | | | | Praise them for controlling themselves. |
| that we give them proper guidance. One common | | | | Praise positive behaviors like sharing and |
| reason why children show aggression is when | | | | using words instead of actions to express |
| their emotional needs like the need for love | | | | anger. Teach alternatives. Educate your child |
| and security, praise and recognition are not | | | | to use other methods instead of using |
| met. As what Mother Teresa said, "The hunger | | | | aggressive behaviors. Train your child to do |
| for love is much more difficult to remove | | | | self talk like "Talk, don't hit" and "Stop |
| than the hunger for bread." The need for love | | | | and think before you act." Always remind them |
| is especially so in children who are | | | | that they can use words and that they could |
| constantly seeking love and attention from | | | | say what the problem was instead of hitting. |
| their parents and adults. They are constantly | | | | They learned that talking was more effective |
| seeking approval and attention from their | | | | than hitting. It is important to understand |
| parents for their behavior. Like adults, they | | | | what triggers the aggressive behaviors in |
| love to receive praise and recognition from | | | | children so that we can prevent it even |
| their parents and adults. Knowing the reasons | | | | before it happens. The best way of preventing |
| why children display aggression, let us take | | | | aggression in children is by setting a good |
| a look at how to prevent aggression in | | | | example for them to follow. Remember that |
| children. The first and foremost thing we can | | | | children do not do things we ask them to do, |
| do is to limit our childrens' exposure to | | | | they do things by observing what we are |
| violence in TV. Just as a coin has two sides, | | | | doing. |