| Aggression in children is behavior that results in | | | | them the adverse consequences and non-violent |
| personal injury to another. This injury can either be | | | | alternatives. It is also good to watch what they are |
| psychological (in the form of verbal attacks) or | | | | going through in internet. However, remember that we |
| physical. Usually the child tends to be impulsive, easily | | | | must also respect their privacy and personal space. |
| irritable, immature, inarticulate about feelings and has | | | | The other thing we can do is to consistently enforce |
| difficulty taking criticism or frustration. The Reasons | | | | rules that promote "love and respect" such as "no |
| behind Aggression There is a saying that children do | | | | hitting" and "no teasing." The best way to enforce |
| not do things that we want them to do, they do things | | | | these rules is by doing it ourselves. We have to |
| that we do. They learned behavior by observing | | | | remember that our children are constantly observing |
| others such as parents, siblings and peers. Thus we | | | | what we are doing; so we really have to watch our |
| have to make sure that we set a good example for | | | | behaviors. We have to react appropriately when we |
| them to follow. Our behavior must be consistent; we | | | | are upset. When our children misbehave, we must not |
| must do what we preached to them. One reason why | | | | react aggressively to them. When children are fighting, |
| children show aggression is that they want to get their | | | | first separate them and then explain calmly to them |
| own way or the attention that they want. Aggression | | | | why they cannot act the way they were acting. Many |
| can be due to the frustration of daily living especially | | | | children have an abundance of energy and without a |
| when there may be some obstacles that prevent | | | | proper channel to release the energy, the energy can |
| them from satisfying their needs. As I observed in my | | | | show itself in the form of aggression whether |
| niece, at times she will compete with her two brothers | | | | intentional or unintentional. One good way to prevent |
| for their mother's attention and if she failed to achieve | | | | aggression in children is to find a way to drain off the |
| what she wants, she will show some form of physical | | | | energy and aggressive impulses in them through |
| aggression towards her two brothers. With the | | | | physical exercises. Through proper supervision in the |
| increase in exposure to mass media nowadays and | | | | activities of children, we can discourage aggressive |
| without proper guidance from parents and adults, | | | | reactions. Just as we must watch our behaviors, we |
| children can be easily influenced by the glamorize | | | | must do our best to minimize marital strife where we |
| violence. Internet and computer games can also be the | | | | exhibit a high level of arguing, conflict and aggression. |
| other channels where children are being exposed to | | | | When we are angry, we can model non-aggressive |
| violence. Recently I was conducting a training on | | | | ways of expressing our anger and frustration like the |
| Personal Leadership for school children of 13 years of | | | | use of compromise and negotiation. What to do |
| age and I was asking them to list down some of their | | | | Strengthen the loving feelings between you and your |
| strengths. To my surprise, one of the boys told me | | | | child by spending sufficient quality time alone with your |
| that he is good in killing. I found out from further asking | | | | child. Reward good behavior. If you catch your child in |
| that he is talking about computer games. Children do | | | | good behavior, praise, encourage or reward your child |
| not understand the difference between media and real | | | | for not reacting aggressively. Praise them for |
| life. Thus it is important that we give them proper | | | | controlling themselves. Praise positive behaviors like |
| guidance. One common reason why children show | | | | sharing and using words instead of actions to express |
| aggression is when their emotional needs like the need | | | | anger. Teach alternatives. Educate your child to use |
| for love and security, praise and recognition are not | | | | other methods instead of using aggressive behaviors. |
| met. As what Mother Teresa said, "The hunger for | | | | Train your child to do self talk like "Talk, don't hit" and |
| love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger | | | | "Stop and think before you act." Always remind them |
| for bread." The need for love is especially so in children | | | | that they can use words and that they could say what |
| who are constantly seeking love and attention from | | | | the problem was instead of hitting. They learned that |
| their parents and adults. They are constantly seeking | | | | talking was more effective than hitting. It is important to |
| approval and attention from their parents for their | | | | understand what triggers the aggressive behaviors in |
| behavior. Like adults, they love to receive praise and | | | | children so that we can prevent it even before it |
| recognition from their parents and adults. Knowing the | | | | happens. The best way of preventing aggression in |
| reasons why children display aggression, let us take a | | | | children is by setting a good example for them to |
| look at how to prevent aggression in children. The first | | | | follow. Remember that children do not do things we |
| and foremost thing we can do is to limit our childrens' | | | | ask them to do, they do things by observing what we |
| exposure to violence in TV. Just as a coin has two | | | | are doing. |
| sides, we can also use the violence on TV to show | | | | |