| This week something unbelievable happened. Monday | | | | about you - the seller, instead of them, the buyer. One |
| was the first day of a brand new radio campaign for | | | | stop shop is the listener's cue to stop listening, make a |
| a brand new client. I won't name the client, the station, | | | | cell phone call, or change the channel). |
| or even the market this happened in. | | | | Features |
| Due to budget restraints on the client-side, the spot | | | | Features |
| was produced by the station (read free). Of course | | | | Smaller benefits |
| the script was written by yours truly and my trusty | | | | ...and the rest was basically the same. |
| copy-writing sidekick. The spot was finished last | | | | What got cut out was the HUGE PROMISE/BIG |
| Thursday - and on Friday I gave my stamp of | | | | BENEFIT. The benefits that were left were pushes |
| approval. | | | | toward the middle, buried underneath the self-centered |
| Monday morning I received an email from the station | | | | discussion of one stop shops and a laundry list of |
| rep saying that they had decided to make a few | | | | features. |
| changes to the commercial - just a few "small things" - | | | | When I "asked" the station about this they told me that |
| and the new commercial started running that morning. | | | | they were looking out for the client's best interest. |
| Calmly, I asked for a copy of the new commercial. | | | | They were concerned that listeners may not |
| At about second 6 my jaw dropped so far down that | | | | understand exactly who the client was or what they |
| it hit the desk. My other orange half swiveled in his | | | | did - or exactly what the package contained. |
| chair and stared at me in disbelief. | | | | Guess what? In a sixty second radio ad they shouldn't |
| "Did that just say 'one stop shop?'" he asked? Indeed it | | | | learn those things. The purpose of the ad is not to get |
| did. | | | | the person to completely understand the offering and |
| It seems that the station sales manager felt the spot | | | | make a buying decision. That can't happen in 60 |
| needed to be rearranged a little bit - and was lacking a | | | | seconds - unless you're selling gum or erasers or |
| few lines. So they made some changes - without | | | | something. |
| consulting me. | | | | The purpose of the ad was to get the listener to say, |
| Well, I was steaming mad. But, I quickly saw an | | | | "Hmmm...that big benefit sounds good...oh and they're |
| opportunity through this adversity: I can write a journal | | | | talking to me...and those other benefits sound very |
| entry about this! So here we are. | | | | fine...oh - a few features, that sounds like something I |
| The primary point I want to make is to illustrate the | | | | could use...so that's the person I need to talk to to learn |
| difference between our script and their script. Why the | | | | more, and there's the number - eh....better hurry - it's |
| minor changes could have made tremendous negative | | | | only good for this week - and there's the number |
| impact. Ultimately, I hope you'll learn some good copy | | | | again." The point is to get arouse the listener's curiosity, |
| writing pointers and understand why you shouldn't let a | | | | engage their greed-glands, get them to picture |
| radio station, newspaper, or anyone else who sells ads | | | | themselves with the benefit in their lives, then to call |
| write your ads. | | | | and learn more. |
| Our Formula: | | | | But as soon as you throw the self-centered cliche |
| Introducing something new | | | | gorilla snot in there, the entire process breaks down |
| HUGE PROMISE, BIG BENEFIT | | | | and the listener disengages. |
| Who can take advantage | | | | Incidentally, the station manager admitted, "I guess I |
| Smaller benefits | | | | could have chosen a better line than 'one stop |
| Basic features | | | | shop'...that is pretty cliche." My point exactly.. So why |
| More benefits | | | | did he change it? |
| Personal name to contact | | | | It makes me think we're not charging enough. Most |
| Call to action | | | | copy writers at our level charge $15,000 a pop for a |
| Limited time | | | | campaign. I'll bet if my client had paid $15,000 for that |
| Call to action again | | | | script, an act of congress couldn't have changed that |
| Their formula (made by rearranging our script, adding | | | | ad without my agreement. Interesting. |
| one line and deleting one line): | | | | My parting message to the station - and to you - is |
| Introduction | | | | this: Let the stations and newspapers do what they do |
| One stop shop for all your __ need. (Statements like | | | | - which is sell the advertising, and leave it to us to |
| these are drivel, amateur and cliche and have no | | | | make the advertising. |
| business in real marketing. Even worse, they are all | | | | |