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"How To" Tips For Discussing Child Abduction and Molestation with Your Kids

Not an easy subject right? Before we you - you need to go and ask an adult'.
begin, the important thing to remember is Make sure they know never to approach the
that you don't want to terrify your kids car to engage in conversation.Equally
about the world we live in, or make them this age group may feel obliged if
feel nervous on a daily basis. In someone struggling with their shopping
particular with younger ones, we all know bags or having trouble lifting something
children are prone to nightmares when into a car asks them for help. Adults
their imaginations are active about any should ask other adults for help - not
kind of predator.This is important for children! Advise your child that if this
you as a parent also. We ARE very ever happens to them, not to go over and
fortunate in Australia that the rate of help the person, but to say "I'll just go
non-parental child abductions is low in and find an adult to help you". If
comparison to other countries. In our applicable your child should then go into
eyes though a 'low' rate is still too a shop and speak to the shopkeeper only
many, and our aim is that NO children or (again, not just a shopper), to advise
their families will ever have to go them someone is wanting help
through the unthinkable. Other well outside.Common Tactics of Abductors
reported statistics on the rates of child We've already mentioned what your child
sexual abuse are far too high though, so should do if an adult approaches them for
some of the tips we'll cover here are help, but there are many other well known
pertinent to helping your children 'tricks' used to lure children away from
protect themselves in these situations as safety. The obvious one is an adult
well.Let's start with what NOT to say. offering gifts or lollies, or suggesting
Most of us have been brought up with the the child come and look at some cute
traditional 'stranger danger' message. little kittens or puppies. Teach your
"Don't go with a stranger" has been kids (all ages) that these are common
proven to be horribly ineffective in tricks, and if anyone ever tells them
keeping kids safe. So first rule of thumb they have something great to show them,
is leave the word 'stranger' out of your they should ignore the offer and go
vocabulary when discussing safety with immediately to a trusted adult or to a
your kids. Why's this?Research has shown group of other kids to tell them.Another
that most children when asked who a example is where an adult may say to a
stranger is, will say 'someone mean or child "quickly, come with me, your mummy
ugly looking'. They simply won't view a daddy has been hurt and they want me to
nice looking lady or a kind looking man take you to them." Let your kids know
as someone they should steer clear of. that if something has ever happened to
When you think about it, we too probably you for real, you would only send a
only avoid a 'strange' looking character family member/teacher etc. to get them.
who tries to talk to us in the street. In Stress that, even though it might sound
terms of child sexual abuse, the majority very plausible because the person seems
of children are molested by someone the to know family names, they should go and
family knows, sometimes by an actual find a trusted adult who can check it
family member. So advising children that out. Go over again with your kids that,
only strangers are capable of harming although they may slightly know the
them will place your children off person who is telling them to come with
guard.For older children (around ten yrs them, they shouldn't feel bad about
plus) it should be ok to give the real saying no, and getting assistance from
reasons as to why you are concerned about someone they know well.More Hypothetical
child abductions and the tragic outcomes Scenarios
of some of these. For younger children God forbid your child has found
though, we see absolutely no need for themselves vulnerable in a dangerous
them to understand that there are people situation, but should someone have
in the world who take children to managed to take your child, role play
sexually abuse and sometimes murder them. what the person may say to them to get
It is far better, and more advisable to them to 'shut up'. Obviously an abductor
'stretch the truth' a little and tell molester will want to hush a screaming
them something like "there are people out child and may say things like "stop
there who don't have children of their screaming or I'll hurt your mother/father
own, so they try and steal someone else's etc". Let your kids know that this will
child". This, in our opinion, is far not happen! and they are to scream, kick,
easier for a little child to comprehend, scratch and punch for all their might.
and while scary enough in thought for Yelling out "He/She's not my mum/dad!" or
them to take heed of what you say, won't "I don't know this person!" is also
create unnecessary terror in their little advised. If your child has on his/her
heads.Some 65% of non-parental child AmberWatch, then the alarm alert will
abductions are committed by someone the really help draw attention from passer's
child or the childs' parents have by to the situation.Even with sexual
actually met before, no matter how molestation cases, children are often
briefly. (We say non-parental because the told by the perpetrator to keep quiet
rate of disgruntled non-custodial parents about what has happened, or he will
who kidnap their children are much higher 'hurt' someone else in the family, or
than abductions from other people.) Think something equally as terrible. If your
of some scenarios where you have had a child knows in advance that this is yet
friendly, albeit brief banter going with another well known 'trick' to keep them
someone you don't know. A tradesperson quiet, they can focus on protecting
that has come to your home; someone you themselves, without the added fear and
chatted with in line at the post office guilt that they may be causing more harm
or in the general neighbourhood; a to others.Be Specific about 'No Go' areas
salesperson coming to your door. All your of the Body.
child needs is to witness is you having a For the average parent, statistics that
chat or a laugh with someone seemingly 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys will
'nice', and the child no longer views experience some kind of sexual
them as a stranger if they happen to come molestation in their childhood, is
across them again. If mum is out the heartbreaking. Make sure your children
front gardening and little Sally sees her know that any part of their body that a
chatting to someone walking past with swimming costume covers is a 'No Go' area
their cute dog, Sally is far more likely for anybody other than a trusted family
to let this person chat to her if she is member. This also includes touching parts
out in the front garden without mum a few of an adults body. Make sure your child
days later - especially if they have that knows that any sexual advance towards
cute little dog with them! Remember, most them is against the law. This will give
paedophiles are incredibly child savvy them the confidence to assert themselves
and personable with children.So What Do if they know it's a legal crime, rather
You Say? than just something mum or dad don't
The best approach is to teach young want.Keep open communication with your
children not to talk to ANYONE if you, a children and encourage them to talk to
teacher, carer or other parent is not by you about anything without guilt.
their side. This may not sit well with Remember, paedophiles often use the "our
parent's hoping to instill politeness little secret" ruse.On a final note,
into their kids, but it's by far the molesters are very good at detecting
safest move. If an adult or responsible attention/affection starved kids. Address
carer is not by their side, there is no any work/home life balances before it's
need for cordiality, and most adults too late, knowing the effort you put into
today will understand that.If your child your children today will sow the seeds
is old enough to walk to and from school for the next generation of emotionally
on their own, or travel down to the shops healthy adults.Jo-Anne Rowland is the
without you, they need to understand how director of AmberWatch Australia, the
to react in certain circumstances. For Australian distributor of the AmberWatch.
example:No adult should ask a child for Recently featured on CNN's Youth Trend
help or directions. Kids can be caught Report and currently taking the child
off guard if someone pulls over in a car protection world by storm, the AmberWatch
while they're walking along or riding is being heralded as a 'first of it's
their bike. If the person yells out for kind' child prevention/protection
directions, let your child know it's ok product. The beautiful Teri Hatcher has
for them to not respond, or they can just been announced as the international
simply say 'I'm sorry, I can't talk to spokesperson.




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