| Not an easy subject right? Before we begin, the | | | | simply say 'I'm sorry, I can't talk to you - you need to |
| important thing to remember is that you don't want to | | | | go and ask an adult'. Make sure they know never to |
| terrify your kids about the world we live in, or make | | | | approach the car to engage in conversation.Equally this |
| them feel nervous on a daily basis. In particular with | | | | age group may feel obliged if someone struggling with |
| younger ones, we all know children are prone to | | | | their shopping bags or having trouble lifting something |
| nightmares when their imaginations are active about | | | | into a car asks them for help. Adults should ask other |
| any kind of predator.This is important for you as a | | | | adults for help - not children! Advise your child that if |
| parent also. We ARE very fortunate in Australia that | | | | this ever happens to them, not to go over and help the |
| the rate of non-parental child abductions is low in | | | | person, but to say "I'll just go and find an adult to help |
| comparison to other countries. In our eyes though a | | | | you". If applicable your child should then go into a shop |
| 'low' rate is still too many, and our aim is that NO | | | | and speak to the shopkeeper only (again, not just a |
| children or their families will ever have to go through | | | | shopper), to advise them someone is wanting help |
| the unthinkable. Other well reported statistics on the | | | | outside.Common Tactics of Abductors |
| rates of child sexual abuse are far too high though, so | | | | We've already mentioned what your child should do if |
| some of the tips we'll cover here are pertinent to | | | | an adult approaches them for help, but there are many |
| helping your children protect themselves in these | | | | other well known 'tricks' used to lure children away |
| situations as well.Let's start with what NOT to say. | | | | from safety. The obvious one is an adult offering gifts |
| Most of us have been brought up with the traditional | | | | or lollies, or suggesting the child come and look at |
| 'stranger danger' message. "Don't go with a stranger" | | | | some cute little kittens or puppies. Teach your kids (all |
| has been proven to be horribly ineffective in keeping | | | | ages) that these are common tricks, and if anyone |
| kids safe. So first rule of thumb is leave the word | | | | ever tells them they have something great to show |
| 'stranger' out of your vocabulary when discussing | | | | them, they should ignore the offer and go immediately |
| safety with your kids. Why's this?Research has shown | | | | to a trusted adult or to a group of other kids to tell |
| that most children when asked who a stranger is, will | | | | them.Another example is where an adult may say to a |
| say 'someone mean or ugly looking'. They simply won't | | | | child "quickly, come with me, your mummy/daddy has |
| view a nice looking lady or a kind looking man as | | | | been hurt and they want me to take you to them." Let |
| someone they should steer clear of. When you think | | | | your kids know that if something has ever happened |
| about it, we too probably only avoid a 'strange' looking | | | | to you for real, you would only send a family member |
| character who tries to talk to us in the street. In terms | | | | teacher etc. to get them. Stress that, even though it |
| of child sexual abuse, the majority of children are | | | | might sound very plausible because the person seems |
| molested by someone the family knows, sometimes | | | | to know family names, they should go and find a |
| by an actual family member. So advising children that | | | | trusted adult who can check it out. Go over again with |
| only strangers are capable of harming them will place | | | | your kids that, although they may slightly know the |
| your children off guard.For older children (around ten | | | | person who is telling them to come with them, they |
| yrs plus) it should be ok to give the real reasons as to | | | | shouldn't feel bad about saying no, and getting |
| why you are concerned about child abductions and the | | | | assistance from someone they know well.More |
| tragic outcomes of some of these. For younger | | | | Hypothetical Scenarios |
| children though, we see absolutely no need for them to | | | | God forbid your child has found themselves vulnerable |
| understand that there are people in the world who | | | | in a dangerous situation, but should someone have |
| take children to sexually abuse and sometimes murder | | | | managed to take your child, role play what the person |
| them. It is far better, and more advisable to 'stretch the | | | | may say to them to get them to 'shut up'. Obviously an |
| truth' a little and tell them something like "there are | | | | abductor/molester will want to hush a screaming child |
| people out there who don't have children of their own, | | | | and may say things like "stop screaming or I'll hurt your |
| so they try and steal someone else's child". This, in our | | | | mother/father etc". Let your kids know that this will not |
| opinion, is far easier for a little child to comprehend, and | | | | happen! and they are to scream, kick, scratch and |
| while scary enough in thought for them to take heed | | | | punch for all their might. Yelling out "He/She's not my |
| of what you say, won't create unnecessary terror in | | | | mum/dad!" or "I don't know this person!" is also advised. |
| their little heads.Some 65% of non-parental child | | | | If your child has on his/her AmberWatch, then the |
| abductions are committed by someone the child or the | | | | alarm alert will really help draw attention from passer's |
| childs' parents have actually met before, no matter | | | | by to the situation.Even with sexual molestation cases, |
| how briefly. (We say non-parental because the rate of | | | | children are often told by the perpetrator to keep quiet |
| disgruntled non-custodial parents who kidnap their | | | | about what has happened, or he will 'hurt' someone |
| children are much higher than abductions from other | | | | else in the family, or something equally as terrible. If |
| people.) Think of some scenarios where you have had | | | | your child knows in advance that this is yet another |
| a friendly, albeit brief banter going with someone you | | | | well known 'trick' to keep them quiet, they can focus |
| don't know. A tradesperson that has come to your | | | | on protecting themselves, without the added fear and |
| home; someone you chatted with in line at the post | | | | guilt that they may be causing more harm to others.Be |
| office or in the general neighbourhood; a salesperson | | | | Specific about 'No Go' areas of the Body. |
| coming to your door. All your child needs is to witness | | | | For the average parent, statistics that 1 in 4 girls and 1 |
| is you having a chat or a laugh with someone | | | | in 7 boys will experience some kind of sexual |
| seemingly 'nice', and the child no longer views them as | | | | molestation in their childhood, is heartbreaking. Make |
| a stranger if they happen to come across them again. | | | | sure your children know that any part of their body |
| If mum is out the front gardening and little Sally sees | | | | that a swimming costume covers is a 'No Go' area for |
| her chatting to someone walking past with their cute | | | | anybody other than a trusted family member. This also |
| dog, Sally is far more likely to let this person chat to | | | | includes touching parts of an adults body. Make sure |
| her if she is out in the front garden without mum a few | | | | your child knows that any sexual advance towards |
| days later - especially if they have that cute little dog | | | | them is against the law. This will give them the |
| with them! Remember, most paedophiles are incredibly | | | | confidence to assert themselves if they know it's a |
| child savvy and personable with children.So What Do | | | | legal crime, rather than just something mum or dad |
| You Say? | | | | don't want.Keep open communication with your |
| The best approach is to teach young children not to | | | | children and encourage them to talk to you about |
| talk to ANYONE if you, a teacher, carer or other | | | | anything without guilt. Remember, paedophiles often |
| parent is not by their side. This may not sit well with | | | | use the "our little secret" ruse.On a final note, molesters |
| parent's hoping to instill politeness into their kids, but it's | | | | are very good at detecting attention/affection starved |
| by far the safest move. If an adult or responsible carer | | | | kids. Address any work/home life balances before it's |
| is not by their side, there is no need for cordiality, and | | | | too late, knowing the effort you put into your children |
| most adults today will understand that.If your child is old | | | | today will sow the seeds for the next generation of |
| enough to walk to and from school on their own, or | | | | emotionally healthy adults.Jo-Anne Rowland is the |
| travel down to the shops without you, they need to | | | | director of AmberWatch Australia, the Australian |
| understand how to react in certain circumstances. For | | | | distributor of the AmberWatch. Recently featured on |
| example:No adult should ask a child for help or | | | | CNN's Youth Trend Report and currently taking the |
| directions. Kids can be caught off guard if someone | | | | child protection world by storm, the AmberWatch is |
| pulls over in a car while they're walking along or riding | | | | being heralded as a 'first of it's kind' child prevention |
| their bike. If the person yells out for directions, let your | | | | protection product. The beautiful Teri Hatcher has just |
| child know it's ok for them to not respond, or they can | | | | been announced as the international spokesperson. |